- People who set off their own car alarm
- Talk show families that revel in their dysfunctionality
- Lip Gloss that makes you look like you smeared butter on your lips
- Breaking a high heel outside and hobbling along like Igor in Frankenstein
- Misspelled graffiti
- Resumes with typographical errors
- People who say, "Howdy"
- Everything delicious is bad for you
- Everything tasteless is good for you
- Skin breaking out from stress... right before a major event
- Paycheck withholdings
- Screaming babies on airplanes
- Child-proof bottles
- Not having Dan Quayle to kick around anymore
- When the radio calls one of your favorite songs, "the Moldy Oldies"
- Bad-hair days
- Biographies of crazed killers for others to emulate
- Locking your keys in the car
- Perot in '96 bumper stickers
- Food products with "Wiz" in their names
- Discovering your inner child is a brat
- People who claim I only watch PBS
- Super-gluing your fingers together
- Ugly Plastic Surgeons
- When your parents refer to you as their "little accident"
- Seeing even more naked pictures of Madonna
- Conspiracy theories
- People who wear their beepers around the clock
- Celebrities who are famous because of whom they married
- Forgetting the combination to your lock
- Mumblers
- Uninsured motorists
- Sulkers
- Whiners
- Vegetarians who wear leather shoes
- When someone points out a word that you mispronounced
- Running to answer the phone that is ringing on TV
- People who still live in the 60's
- People that say, "you know?," at the end of every sentence
- When something bad happens to you and then you are told, "Well, you asked for it"
- Crooks that go free on a technicality
- Lipstick (other than mine) on the milk carton
- When more people quote Roseanne than Shakespeare
- How you look and sound on videotape
- Old folk remedies for colds that don't work but give you garlic breath
- The Professor from Gilligan's Island could build a radio from coconuts -- yet could not fix the boat
- Sappy "Love is..." cartoons
- When people tell you that you are starting to look like your Chia Pet
- Open casket funerals
- People who cleverly inquire, "Is it hot enough for you?"
- Those who maintain, "It is not the heat, it is the humidity"
- People who wear sunglasses indoors
- Artificial intelligence
- Trying to find the start of a roll of clear tape
- Statement errors that are always in the bank's favors
- Potholes in the road
- Movies starring children and sheepdogs
- "Water-saving" toilets that you have to flush twice
- Elvis sightings
- Magazine renewal notices sent 10 months before the subscription ends
- When valet parkers "peel out" in your car
- Squeaky windshield wipers
- People who are otherwise unimaginative, unless it comes to lying
- Scented toilet paper
- Losing a filling on vacation
- People that lift the car door handle as you are unlocking it, consequently they cannot get in!