| WAIFS | vs. | LUCY |
| Exclusive contracts | Lucy plays the field | |
| Shows off her Calvins | Tastefully shows off her cleavage | |
| Women scrawl "Feed Me" across their photos | Women take Lucy's photo to their plastic surgeon | |
| Wears old Doc Martens | Wears Manolo Blahnik stilettos | |
| Photographed at parties looking bored holding a cigarette and a martini | Photographed at parties holding Lee Iacocca | |
| Haircolor: plant-based semi-permanent brown | Haircolor: Only her hairdresser knows for sure! | |
| Love Interest: Grunge-rocker | Love Interest: Power moguls, producers and occasional billionaire | |
| Fashion Idols: Calvin Klein or anything faded or torn | Fashion Idols: Herve Leger and Valentino | |
| Handbag: Plastic sack bought at airport newsstand | Handbag: Hermes bag bought in Paris (via the Concorde) | |
| Prefers no perfume | Prefers Chanel No. 19 (gets it from Karl after the show) | |
| Exercise: Diet Pills and Marlboro Lights | Exercise: Running to the airport to catch the next plane |
